Work it out, these things happen, think of the children........ I have come to really dislike those phrases, I might explode if I hear any of them again!
My marriage is over, that's the truth, the reality that I had to look in the eyes and accept. It was the hardest thing I had to do. I wanted to close my eyes and pretend it was all a dream, that I was imagining it all. I wanted to die and be free of the pain.
I look back and remember longing for the day when I'd be fine, when I'd no longer feel the pain. It took everything I had to fight to live and breathe.
Finally I was free, I felt the peace within. My heart was not burning anymore, it was peaceful. I was smiling once again.
Then it happened,the words were spoken, directed to me..... "these things happen, work things out, see a counsellor, think of the children". They sent me into a zone of anger and frustration! How dare they tell me to work things out? I'm I the one who ruined things? I'm I the one who broke my own heart?
These things happen....... doesn't make it right though, doesn't make it okay. Saying that to me is like telling me to accept infidelity as part of life and carry on like its no big deal. Well its a huge deal for me! I did not get married to be cheated on, I could have dated player after player if that's what I wanted.
Think of the children......... I have done plenty of that. I observed how it affected my kids. They saw me weep almost daily for a month, they saw me miserable, no child should ever see their mother cry like that. They were part of my motivation to get better, to heal and be a better mum to them. I will not go backwards in the name of "thinking of the children". I am moving forward, drama free, baggage free.
No. That's my response to it all. No, I will not work anything out because I do not want to. I do not want to work things out with a serial cheater, a person who couldn't cherish me when he had me, who couldn't be faithful. No, I will not go for marriage counselling because I don't believe it will change my mind. No, I will not be bullied into staying in a broken relationship because of my children. My kids deserve a stable, happy mama.
I wish people would see how much happier I am now. I am free to be me
I will, instead, think of me. I will think of myself and my own happiness. Too often women are pressured into sacrificing their own happiness, being told to stay in bad marriages for the kids' sake and because men will always cheat, might as well just stay. Well, I refuse. I believe that each human has a right to be happy and at peace.
Woman, stand up and live your life fiercely, with meaning, with zeal, with purpose. Do not kill yourself because of a man. You have so much potential, do not give up on yourself. Live your life.
